sunshine..

I adore Ms.Sandhya..

vaccum..

Today is my 7th wedding annvrsy:..................

me...

perpetually moist eyes...fervent prayers....a boiling saucepan...bloody heart where the red bird weeps...

AIMS,KOCHI..

The next seven days were hell.I was kept in dark about my baby,with reassurances that he was doing well,while in actuality,he was literally breathing his last.Within 24 hours of his birth,he had meningitis.pneumonia..and a lot many other complications.The doctors at Amrita said he stood a chance of 2% to live.Any way,they send their ambulance to Alapuzha,by mid morning of 13th may 2oo7,and took a running time of just 50 minutes to reach Edappally.Rushed into the ICU,he was stabilized and ventilated.Mean while,back at Alpy,I was roaming like a ghost through the hospital corridors,looking at the other babies and sometimes wondering if my baby was no more.Ammu came in between,but left soon,breaking my heart even more.On the 7th day, I was shifted to AIMS. We were in another block,5th floor..my son was at hospital main block,5th floor.As I stepped into the ICU,I felt my blood chill.There were four babies, in separate cubicles,which was mine?..One baby almost resembled a dissected frog.I felt nauseated..Can newborns look like this?..... My husband said ,"There he is.."My baby was lying like a tiny lil mouse, amidst a thousand wires and stuff.His eyes were covered with a band .Was he breathing?...My eyes welled up as I stepped forward to touch him.."Not now",said the nurse.Time over...Walking back from the ICU,my legs felt limp...I never felt so helpless,I thought...how were I to know that the worst was yet to come....(to be continued)